Communication-Wise New Year’s Resolutions

In thinking of the New Year, and of how my communication skills can improve with
intention, I’ve come up with just a few ‘communication resolutions’ that should keep me busy at least until January 1, 2009. These resolutions are:

1. To listen with my whole person.

I once read about someone who was described as ‘listening as if his life depended on it.’ When I read those words, I realized that this description epitomizes what is meant by being a great listener. My resolution to listen with my whole person will mean that I need to quell my internal chatter when I’m engaged with others, and will also mean ‘no more clicking or reading’ while I speak on the phone at my computer desk. Hopefully, I’ll gradually find myself less often asking, ‘What did you say?’ or ‘Did you mean that…?’

2. To speak with honesty.

If my goal is to speak with absolute integrity, one thing I’ll need to do is avoid making plausible excuses that aren’t truthful. In addition, owning up to feelings that may be impacting my behavior – verbal or nonverbal -- is a part of this resolve.

3. To give others’ the freedom -- and allow myself that same freedom -- to express thoughts and feelings.

This resolve addresses the mindset that enables real communication to occur at its deepest level. By realizing that both communicative partners have legitimate needs and emotions that underlie what they express can help each of us to respect each other, even in ‘sticky’ situations. By opting for empathic communication, I’ll need to work to quell my impulse to defend my point of view and to feed my ego.

4. To strive to make each communicative interaction a ‘win-win’ situation.

Dr. Marshall Rosenberg, creator of Non Violent Communication (www.cnvc.org; http://nvctraining.com), teaches a compassionate communication process that enables all communicative partners simultaneously.

During the coming year, by taking more courses in Nonviolent Communication, I plan on developing my ability to use this process that allows all partners in communicative exchanges to feel validated. It’s by having our needs recognized -- without criticism or judgment -- that all of us can feel that we have ‘won’ in our negotiations, no matter how challenging these may be. There is great power in this dynamic, vitality, heart and supportiveness in this communication process.

5. To strengthen my self-talk to be more consistently positive and edifying.

Prosperity consciousness posits that we are all magnetic energy forces, drawing to us that which is in tune with our unique thinking. Accordingly, the way to become prosperous is to believe wholeheartedly that we are in fact already prosperous. If we can see, feel, taste, smell and hear as someone who enjoys prosperity, we will bring that prosperity that we experience with our perceptions into our lives.

Although we all encounter challenging situations, our ‘reframing’ these and recognizing them as opportunities for growth and learning will enable us to appreciate their positive rather than their negative aspects. If we are what we eat, by continually feasting upon a diet of positives – in our words, our thoughts and our actions, we can’t help but bring prosperity and success into our lives.